work is (i think) not worship
on questioning work identity, job-quitting, and the rigmarole of ambition
1. the job anxiety is real
there are those who are looking for jobs, those that are in jobs they hate and looking for jobs, those that are in jobs they like but looking over their shoulder for when they would need to start looking for jobs… it’s a strange time. even for the high-pedigreed knowledge-worker, who erstwhile could audaciously quit and take time off without the next job in the bag1. what i make of this realisation is to stay pragmatic, but to also realign what ‘work’ looks like for you, and how to make your lifestyle compatible with different version of that (that are indeed incoming).
I’ve accepted that no job is coming to save me. That security does not come from a one-way, linear transaction with a for-profit corporation. But rather, a rhizomatic network, one that grows not just upwards, but outwards, downwards, and sideways — with gains and losses, ebbs and flows along the way.
It’s humbling, yes, and certainly an adjustment at first. But maybe it’s okay to not look impressive. As Jonathan Small wrote in response to that depressing Gen-X article, “Next time someone asks what you do, don’t panic. Don’t squirm. Just smile and say: What don’t I do?”
2. think longer than long-term thinking
this is very much in the hyper-organise and systematise facets of your life wheelhouse. but. the wisdom behind third-order thinking feels really valuable. especially in the context of work, growth, productivity2 - so much of what we tend to optimise for is short-sighted. and even when we think we’re playing the long game, it’s still not looking at the whole system. hyper functioning professionals (like myself) are stuck in the burnout trap, and this is…a nice reality check.
3. you’re considering quitting (or intellectually flirting with the idea)
what a bold essay. this one’s super duper detailed, and contains precisely the stuff no one talks about when they parrot the “quit your job” advice: money. this goes in-depth into the author’s financial status, income, savings, expenses, and then talks about one’s value systems and how to tie them together to make any decisions.
money related excerpt ~
Take stock of the hard numbers, the facts. This is in many ways related to values and in other ways very different. After all, this involves some tangible stuff: money in, money out. And yet, it’s also about interrogating that feeling of need and scarcity: when I tell myself I want more money, is it because I actually need it to pay my bills or am I playing that game of more more more? Are there different ways I could make money? How much is actually enough? What are other forms of ‘currency’ that might mean as much, or more for me right now? For me, it was an empowering realization that if I had to take a year or two off from retirement contributions, future me would understand I was giving myself payment in other ways: space, time and freedom.
values related excerpt ~
Figure out what your values are in this season of your life. This is arguably the hardest and most complex part . You have to start noticing: when you feel good and when you don’t. Who around you bolsters and lights you up, and who dulls your shine. What do you buy that makes you happy and at peace and what feels shitty. There are so many ways to start to run little “experiments” in your life. Like literally keep a list of things you observe yourself feeling when you get really emotionally fired up (good and bad) and sooner than later, that value system emerges. It took me probably 2-4 years from a conscious noticing of “I HATE when my boss leads in this way,” to realizing, oh that’s because they’re going against a value of mine, to the next step being, how do I use that to make decisions because my body and mind are screaming at me to listen?
4. acceptance and not just rationalising
in some way, similar to what i wrote about in the last post around intellectualising one’s feelings. but mere sense-making of your situation and the world is not going to cut it. especially in the context of this substack that talks about work identity, quitting jobs, and the knowledge economy - where a lot more is outside one’s control than within.
radical acceptance is rooted in buddhist philosophy. it’s also central to dialectical behavior therapy in psychology. whichever domain feels more palatable to you, it’s core to finding the resilience to play out the human experience :)
Radical acceptance doesn’t mean giving up or resigning yourself to a life of endless suffering. On the contrary, it’s one of the bravest acts you can make. It means looking at your pain, acknowledging it fully, and saying, “This hurts. I can’t change it. But I can survive it.” And that act of survival, of simply continuing to live through the pain, is a powerful form of resilience. It’s not about surrendering to defeat — it’s about surrendering to reality and finding the strength to continue forward.
5. the ambition x comfort loop
i cackled coz of how on-point this is (i know i know it’s a reel, we’re allowed that every now and then). maybe the more you heal, the less ambitious you become? what is the ambition even for, if not for greater comfort in life? and why does that achieved comfort bring more discomfort due to a lack of pursuit in life? remiss to not blame the capitalist system3 where productivity of human capital is valued supreme, but also fun to ask yourself: “who even am i in the absence of ambition?”
until next time & new reads!
🌻
~ rufus
about 3 years ago, i took 6 months off before my current job, without any real stress because of a quiet confident arrogance that “of course i will find some job at least”… but i wouldn’t do the same today. the market, the world, the knowledge economy is not the same today.
honestly, also works well in interpersonal dynamics. in a previous relationship, my partner and i used to hold monthly and quarterly structured check-ins (with a feedback rubric and matrix, like project teams do…) and while it’s very management-consultant-esque, it works!
and ofcourse indian middle/working-class childhood trauma around being worthy of love only when ‘successful’ (to each their own special interpretation)